~Lighthouse Pentecostal Ministry-International~

Abuse 
 
What is it? How do you know if you have been abused?
 
Ways to Tell if You Are Being (or Have Been) Abused
 
One of the best ways to tell if you are being abused is to trust your gut. This is a difficult task, if your abuser has managed to make you doubt your own sanity, but it is vital to your survival and healing. Ask yourself if you are frightened of the person in question; if the answer is "yes", they may well be abusing you.
 
Certainly, if they are physically abusing you, there will be bruises, bloodied noses, cuts, and other injuries to indicate what's going on. Remember that assaulting and battering someone is a criminal offense, and you don't deserve it no matter how old or young you are, how mad the person became, or whether you were having a heated argument with them beforehand. As the saying goes: your right to hit me ends where the end of my nose begins. Nobody has the right to batter anyone else, ever.
 
Following is a list of ways to tell if someone is verbally or emotionally battering you, paraphrased from Patricia Evans' books, The Verbally Abusive Relationship (Adams, 1992), and Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out. (Adams, 1993.) If you answer "yes" to a significant number of the following questions, you are likely being verbally abused.
 
Withholding: does the abuser stop speaking to you when they're displeased? do they ignore you? do they withdraw affection in order to punish you? do they blame you for this?
 
Countering: does the abuser tell you you're wrong if you don't agree with them? do they argue against your every thought? do they tell you your feelings are wrong? do they tell you that you don't know what you're talking about? do they forbid you from having your own opinions?
 
Discounting: does the abuser ignore or disparage your feelings? do they put down your feelings? do they dismiss you with statements such as, "you're too sensitive" or "you don't have a sense of humor" or "you're just taking it wrong"?
 
Ridicule (Verbal Abuse Disguised as Jokes): does the abuser make fun of you? do they ridicule you regarding subjects about which you are particularly sensitive? do they seem to enjoy it? do they accuse you of not being able to take a joke? do they use sarcasm to put you down?
 
Blocking and Diverting: does the abuser change the subject when you try to bring something up? do they divert serious discussions by accusing you of various things?
 
Accusing and Blaming: does the abuser blame you for everything that goes wrong? do they accuse you of hurting them when you tell them your feelings? do they accuse you of having affairs? are they jealous?
 
Judging and Criticizing: does the abuser find fault with everything you do? are they extremely hard to please? do they tell you you "ought" or "should" do things a certain way?
 
Trivializing: does the abuser belittle what you say? do they dismiss your feelings or accomplishments? do they insult you when you express pride in your own abilities? do they act as if your work is no big deal?
 
Undermining: does the abuser squelch your enthusiasm with insensitive comments such as, "You wouldn't understand", or, "You'll never make it"? do they sabotage your ideas by pointing out all the ways in which they might fail? do they interrupt you when you need time alone?
 
Threatening: does the abuser threaten you, overtly or covertly? do they threaten you with violence? do they threaten you with emotional pain?
 
Name-calling: does the abuser use vulgarities to insult you? do they call you cruel names? do they use terms of endearment with intense sarcasm?
 
Forgetting: does the abuser make a promise and then "forget" to keep it? do they pretend not to remember certain incidents or discussions? do they pretend not to remember prior agreements?
 
Ordering: does the abuser order you to do something instead of asking? do they demand things?
 
Denial: does the abuser deny that certain things happened? do they tell you that they didn't say something, or that you never saw something occur?
 
Abusive Anger: does the abuser erupt into a rage when they are angry? do they scream, yell, or shout? do they hurl obscenities? does their body language become more aggressive? do they stomp, strut, hit things, or hit you? do they become red in the face? do they throw things? do they physically get in your way, or follow you from room to room? do they snap at you? are they usually irritable? does all of this usually take place in private, when you are alone? (It's a sure sign things are escalating if the abuser attacks you in public.) does the abuser blame you for their anger?
 

Myths and Lies
 
The victim deserves whatever abuse she or he receives. (Don't even get me started on this one.)
 
Verbal abuse isn't really abuse. Yes it is, and it's incredibly effective -- rapists often use it to paralyze their intended victims, for example.
 
Women really mean "Yes" when they say "No." That attitude *must* have been invented by a man... I, for one, can't ever remember a time when I said "No" and didn't mean it.
 
Boys will be boys. A sorry excuse for aggressive masculine behavior, if ever I heard one.
 
Battered women are masochistic. No, they're just scared and believe they deserve it.
 
Victims provoke their abusers.
 
Abuse only happens to [insert your least favorite socio-cultural group here]. Abuse happens to all kinds of people: young, old, black, white, male, female, Jewish, Christian, rich, poor, you name it. Abuse knows no prejudice.
 
Abuse doesn't happen to nice people.
 
Rape victims were asking for its. Hey, nuns have been raped. What's your problem??
 
It could never happen to me.
 
SEXUAL ABUSE:
You have been sexually abused when a person touches you or makes you do things sexually that you are not comfortable with him or her doing. When you are being forced to do something sexual, you are being abused.
 
If you are a female click on this link: http://www.christiananswers.net/q-dml/dml-y021.html  and then return back to here.
 
So, now what?
 
You have just realized that you are being abused, or you are reliving that experience in your mind. This must be an awful thing to experience. Although millions of people experience abuse every year, this does not make it any easier to deal with personally. You never thought it would happen to you. Chances are, you did not think this person would treat you this way.
 
Well, here are some things you need to know:
 
First of all, you are not a bad person because you have experienced abuse. This is not your fault. Your abuse has possibly tried to make you think this. But the truth is that you are still an awesome and wonderful person, no matter what has happen to you. If people who had been abused were bad people, then consider the example of Jesus Christ. They abused Him, and even killed Him. Yet, He, as the God-man was without sin.
 
IF YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED, YOU HAVE TO SEEK HELP. You are not equipped to handle this on your own. Even though it hurts, you have to talk about it with someone you can trust. TALKING ABOUT IT TO SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST IS THE FIRST STEP TO HEALING. The longer you bottle this up inside you, the worse it will get. Decide right now that you are going to get help.

I assume since you are continuing to read that you have indeed decided to get help. So, now, who can help? Here are some suggestions.
 
1) Your pastor (if you go to church and know your minister well)
 
2) A Christian counselor
 
3) Call one of the 1-800 numbers we support. These are 1-800-394 HOPE or 1-800 HIT HOME.
 
RECOVERY IS NOT EASY BUT IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE . You cannot make it on your own. Seek help. Talk openly with a trustworthy Christian counselor who can give you real help and get the broken pieces of your life put back together. Through God's help, you can be better and feel better about who you are. You can do all things through Christ who will strengthen you (Philippians 4:13).
 
If you have received Christ as your Savior, you can put this heavy burden on the Lord Jesus' shoulders (1 Peter 5:7). If you have never taken this all-important step, we urge you to make your commitment to God by confessing your sins, repenting, and inviting Jesus to come into your life and be your Savior. When you do this, you become a member of God's own family (see John 1:12). See Steps to Peace With God. http://www.theway.billygraham.org/steps1.asp
 
God will give you comfort and peace as you are faithful and obedient to Him (Psalm 37:3-5). Commit the past, the present, and the future to the Lord. Trust Him to fill your life with peace, joy, and faith as you read His Word and pray daily. Also, actively participate in a gospel-teaching church. There you may be helped by the counsel and ministry of the pastor and the fellowship of other Christians.

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Domestic Violence:

I Got Flowers Today
 
 We had our first argument last night, and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.

Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry cause he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today, and it wasn't mother's day or any other special day.

Last night, he beat me up again, it was much worse than all the other times.  If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.  But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral!
Last night, he finally killed me.  He beat me to death.  If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.......

If you are against domestic abuse, please pass this along to everyone,
NOT just women.
 
===============

Depression 
 
How can God help me with my feelings of depression?
 
One of the classic accounts of depression in the Bible is Elijah's despair recorded in 1 Kings, chapter 19. He was extremely discouraged and even doubted his own usefulness to God. Notice that his depression in part was caused by physical problems--hunger and exhaustion. The first step in his restoration was food and sleep. Note how he concentrated his attention on his immediate circumstances and saw no way out of them. However, God in effect told him to get his eyes off his circumstances and back on God. It was only when Elijah had a fresh vision of God's love for him that he was able to conquer his despair.
Depression is common in our times, but it is not incurable. Believe that God loves you! The proof of this is that He sent His Son to die for you. Do not trust your feelings, but trust the fact of God's love for you as revealed in His Word. Remember the words of the writer of Hebrews: "God has said, `Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, `The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'" (Hebrews 13:5-6). See Billy Graham's site called "Steps to Peace With God"
http://www.billygraham.org/believe/stepsToPeace.asp
My Story
By Wendy Cameron
 
I was not unlike a lot of people. I was vulnerable, depressed, and easily confused during my most erratic and impressionable years as a teenager. I was possessed by feelings of self-revulsion, anger, and bitterness toward those who abused me as a young child..., not too rare for teens today. So once I got old enough to where I figured that I'd pinpointed the "real problem" I began to look for solace and comfort from my family, my "friends", and more than anything, myself. I tried drinking, and "light" drugs, but they wore old on me fast and I soon became bored again.
Then one day when I was sixteen, I came across what seemed to be a lovely belief system called Wicca. At the time it seemed as though I'd found everything that I ever was and believed in ...ALL AT ONCE! You can imagine the ecstatic feelings that were running through my head. I felt like I was on cloud nine for the first time. Though deep inside something always beckoned me to get away from it,... I of course pushed the feelings aside and went about my "great search". I think back now, and it seems it was more the "aesthetics" of the occult that was so seductive and so tempting. I thought wicca was beautiful..., it didn't discriminate, it didn't make you believe *everything* it believed in, and it welcomed you no matter who you were..., by the end of my first week of study I was a Witch..., and trapped. It started with feelings of "withdrawal". I didn't take any phone calls from my friends, or even my love-interest. I began to not care about how I was dressed or how I looked in public (when I was normally a rather vein teenage girl, due to my low self-regard). And I was a terror to my family. I started sleeping all day, and staying up all night. There were even times that I wanted to kill myself... I was clearly MUCH worse off at this stage then even before the drinking started.
But I still was blinded to the one thing that would save me from spiritual death, Jesus Christ. I began to go downhill even further. I would sit in the dark in my bedroom casting spells and making requests to gods and goddesses to enrich my life. But, one night as I was studying I felt an INCREDIBLE sense of loneliness, guilt, and love all at once. All of a sudden it was so clear what was missing! I felt Jesus' love all around me, He was calling me back. I immediately got up threw all of my study guides, tools, and supplies away. I woke my mother up, and told her that her prayers for my salvation had come true. I gave my worship and love back to the Lord Jesus. I don't think I have to say that she was very happy!
It has been a hard uphill ride to re-build a relationship with Jesus, but I have never been better..., and you know what? If you're reading this and NOT a Christian, let me tell you that Jesus Christ will save your life. You may not think so, but He will. He did it for me, and I was about as far gone as you can get. My life has a purpose and direction, I'm not drifting anymore. He will provide for you too, if you just ask.
Wendy Cameron 

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DEPRESSION

Dear Lord,
 
Today Someone wants to share some thoughts on the debilitating illness...DEPRESSION.
 
I am not in the medical profession...
I am not in the psychiatric profession...
I have never suffered from depression...
 
BUT
 
As the years have passed by, I have come in contact with this "syndrome", for want of a better word, many times.
I have been a "victim" of depression although I've never suffered from it.  "How so?"  You may ask.
 
Any family who has had a member afflicted by this condition will tell you that it causes the whole unit to suffer.  It's very much like when we hurt a limb, our whole body feels the discomfort and pain.
Some parts over compensate to try to relieve the pressure the pain is causing...this is fatiguing as it is not naturally equipped for this dual functionality.
Some parts become immune to the pain in order to see to the daily functioning of the rest of the body.
Some parts have sharp outbursts of protest when a nerve touches its area causing discomfort.
Some parts come out in sympathy and mimic the disability.
All in all a very unhealthy situation...but the body copes albeit it in a dysfunctional way.  Likewise with the family.
 
In the early stages of depression the family and patient often deny that there is anything wrong, as an unsettled spirit comes over the family. 
The first reactions to depression are..."Oh pull yourself together, you've got nothing to be THAT miserable about".
As the weeks pass by, the patient descends into an uncontrollable deepening abyss of despair.
 
I feel even the medical profession are not 100% sure as to the cause of depression but have found a way of alleviating the symptoms through medication.  I praise God that He has blessed man with the ingenuity to manufacture such drugs which so often are the starting point of healing in the depressed person's life.
-Chemical imbalances;
-Illness;
-Extremely difficult life situations;
-Nothing.
These are a few things I've heard stated as being the cause or trigger of someone's depression.
So often the family is ashamed to mention it is going through the turmoil of depression...there seems to be a stigma attached to it...they alienate themselves from others at a time when they most need support.
 
I share the following tips with others who are facing this crisis with a family member:
 
In this state they don't appreciate anything you try to do to help...do it anyway.
They can be illogical and argumentative...don't argue back, be understanding.
They can be despondent and heartbroken...give comfort, don't tell the person to pull themselves together.
They can hate themselves and life...nothing you say will convince them otherwise, just put your arms around them and tell them how much you love and appreciate them.
They can be ashamed and apologetic...tell them there is nothing to apologise for as they were there for you in times of need.
They can say that you don't understand what they are going through...tell them you know, but nevertheless you are there for them 100%.
They can be clingy and insecure...try to keep a 'normal routine', but be conscious to have someone available for them at all times, as they can become extremely frightened. Be sensitive to this need and make time for them.
 
The above are not easy to do.  It can take many months for things to 'feel' right again.  You will be surprised how many families go through this.
 
So what do we as Christians do when faced with Depression in a member of our family?
 
I have been criticised for advocating medication.  I feel that any counselling is useless until the afflicted person has regained a state of calmness in which he can logically discuss his feelings.  Carefully controlled and monitored anti-depressants may help a person reach this stage.  Sometimes a root cause or trigger for depression can be discovered and dealt with by a professional or Christian counsellor. In many instances we never discover why a person suffers from depression.  If long term medication is necessary, treat it sensibly, as you would for any other illness, under the supervision of a Doctor. Try to avoid a 'roller-coaster' attitude to medication, going on and off it as your mood changes, as this so often leads to an unnecessary increase in dosage.
 
As Christians we must prayerfully hand the situation to God.  In the Bible we see King David experiencing the symptoms of depression.
"My soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to the grave.  I am counted with those who go down to the pit;  I am like a man who has no strength" (Psalm 88:3,4)
"I am troubled,  I am bowed down greatly:  I go mourning all the day long"..."I am feeble and severely broken;  I groan because of the turmoil of my heart" (Psalm 38:6,7).
 
Like King David we must find hope in the Lord and embrace His healing.
"O Lord you have brought my soul up from the grave;  You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit" (Psalm 30:3).
"I will be glad and rejoice in Your mercy, for You have considered my trouble;  You have known my soul in adversities" (Psalm 31:7).
"Draw near to my soul and redeem it" (Psalm 69:18).
 
Pray for an upliftment in the person's spirit every day.  Tell him you are praying for him.  As he improves, encourage him to pray with you.  Only God can deliver and heal, but He can use you as His instrument of restoration.
I feel prayer and support can help sustain long term results.
 
'I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry.  He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth  -  praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord. 
(Psalm 40:1-3)

===============
 
Dear Lord,
 
Today someone upholds all families going through the trials of depression in prayer.
It is an affliction one would not wish on one's worst enemy.
It reduces one to the lowest emotional state imaginable.
 
But You, our Lord God Almighty,
Have heard the cries of your children from the depths of their despair.
Throughout all ages, You have heard this cry.
 
You alone can lift them out of this misery.
You alone can restore their spirits.
You alone can heal their hearts today.
 
Thank You Jesus for Your loving kindness;
You are the Rock of ages,
Let all emotions be anchored to You.
 
You bring new life,
You bring new joy,
You bring contentment to our lives once more.
 
Amen.
 
Doreen Hardie

===============

Love said, "Can you help me?"
 
View beautiful movie at http://www.InspiringThots.net/movie/love-story.php
Preparing For No Regrets

If Tomorrow Never Comes
 
If I knew it would be the last time that I’d see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep,
If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say “I love you,” instead of assuming that you KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
well I’m sure you’ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance to make everything right.
There will always be another day to say our “I love you’s”,
And certainly there’s another chance to say our “Anything I can do’s?”
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget,
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight..
So if you’re waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day,
That you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always hold them dear,
Take time to say “I’m sorry,” “please forgive me,” “thank you” or “it’s okay”.
And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.
~Author Unknown~

====================

Eating Disorders 
 
 Do you ever secretly pig out and then force yourself to throw up everything you just ate? Do you ever starve yourself for days or even weeks because you think you're too fat?

If you answered yes to either of these questions (or if you have a friend who does these things), here are some facts you need to know:
 
Uncommon Names for Common Problems
 
If you participate in the "much a bunch-lose your lunch" routine known as bulimia or the voluntary act of self-starvation called anorexia nervosa, you are not alone. Eating disorders usually strike during the teen years and affect millions. While the majority of the victims are female, about 10 percent are male.

Bulimia can involve the eating and vomiting process, the chewing and then spitting out of food, or binge eating followed by the excessive use of laxatives. Anorexia nervosa on the other hand involves voluntary self-starvation and rigid dieting habits. While eating disorders may seem harmless, they are very serious. They cause an alarming number of deaths each year.
 
The Frightening Fear of Fat
 
Why do people become victims of eating disorders? Among the probable causes are low self-esteem, misconceptions about appearance, perfectionism, and a distorted view of sexuality. If media says that "thin is in," it must mean that "fat is failure." Consequently, thousands of young people are literally dying to be thin. While society has declared that a person's appearance dictates his or her worth, the Bible declares that God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). God is far more concerned with your inner character than he is with your outer appearance (1 Peter 3:3-4).
 
Overcoming the Obsession With Obesity
 
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, you need to seek both God's help and the help of others. Consulting with your family doctor will ensure your physical safety. Seeking out another person -- someone who will help you discover the reasons behind your eating problems -- will provide the emotional support you need.
 
ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT GOD LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. HE CREATE YOU AND IS VERY PROUD OF HIS CREATION. LOVE YOURSELF AS GOD LOVES YOU.
 
The following website has a test that you can take if you think you may have an eating disorder:
http://www.overcomersoutreach.org/oa.htm

===============

You Still Have Hope
 
If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope.
If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower, then you still have hope.
If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, then you still have hope.
 
If the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.

If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope.
 
If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep, then you still have hope.
 
If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder, then you still have hope.
 
If the soft fur of a favored pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.
 
If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope.
If you give people the benefit of a doubt, then you still have hope.
 
If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, then you still have hope.
 
If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.
 
If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, then you still have hope.
 
If you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.
 
 
If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, then you still have hope.
 
If you still buy the ornaments, put up the Christmas tree or cook the turkey, then you still have hope.
 
If you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.
If you can look to the past and smile, then you still have hope.
 
If, when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile, you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase… “yeah….BUT..” then you still have hope.
 
Hope is such a marvelous thing. It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break.
 
It sustains us when nothing else can.
It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we’d rather give in.
 
Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage.
 
Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it.
 
Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction.
 
Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured, and something that will refresh us in return.
 
And

it can be found in each of us, and it can bring light into the darkest of places.
Never lose hope.
~ Author Unknown~

===============

Divorce 
 
Broken Families -- Dealing with the Hurt

 John:
"I was seven when my parents were divorced. I thought it was my fault. I didn't know why, I just thought I did something wrong. As I have gotten older, however, I realized that my parents' issues were not my fault."
 
WISE WORDS:
Whenever your parents have any fights its never your fault.
If your having problems dealing with it, ask and talk to your
parents before getting upset and blaming yourself.
 

Megan:
"I was eight years old when my parents separated. I never thought it was my fault but I believed it was my mom's because that's what my dad told me. They got divorced when I was thirteen. I didn't really feel anything because they were separated for so long. However, my view changed. I started getting mad at my dad because I realized his alcohol problem and I knew how much it hurt my mom. This whole issue was a learning experience for me because it helped me understand the problems which my father had. I also learned that I couldn't use this as a crutch. I had to move on with my life and help my mother move on with hers. Now, as I move on I know that I can't help my father he has to help himself."

WISE WORDS:
Don't ever use whatever happens to your parents as a crutch.
Be all you can be and if you have a problem talk to your
parents because you should never hold things in.
 

Jeff:
"I don't remeber my parents ever being together, never. I never thought it was my fault. I always believed it was my father's. I think my father is incompetent and plays games. He doesn't know how to be a father. I, did, learn from this experience how to raise a child and that you need God to do it."

WISE WORDS:

Never think divorce is your fault. You can't change it or make it better. Learn from your parents and grow in the Lord because He'll be your mother or your father.
 
KEEP HOPE ALIVE!
 
Julie:
"I was eleven when my parents were divorced but they were separated ever since I was four. I was more confused than anything. I never thought it was my fault but I did have a feeling they were going to get back together. This was a learning experience for me because after I realized both sides of the story I realized why they got divorced. I learned that my mom and dad would always love me."

WISE WORDS:

If you are a child going through divorce, realize that it's
not your fault, because that's the first step to overcome.
Listen to both sides of the story and don't just take one
person's side, because if the other side sees your tension
the problem could get worse.
 

HELP FOR THE HURTING

The following was written by a psychologist specializing in helping teens deal with the divorce of their parents.

Broken families are on of life's greatest tragedies. We know clearly from the bible that it was never God's plan for families to experience such devastation.

My heart goes out to the many children of such broken marriages who suffer much pain as result of their parents' action. It is never easy for anyone to go through what you have gone through, or perhaps are even going through right now. Yet in some sense, God will still be able to use this unfortunate experience to prepare you for a life that will be fuller and richer. So if your parents are divorced, how does it affect you and what can you do about it? When parents split up, there can be many emotions that a youth may have to deal with. These feelings, internalised or expressed, will result in certain behavior. We will first examine the emotional issues and then move on to the consequential behavior of youths in divorce situations. After which, we will look at the relational circumstances concerning these issues.
 
DEEP HURT

Divorce hurts! It is the collapse of a God intended design, the family nucleus. Children can get robbed of a special experience and protection called "Family". They move on in their lives as individuals without the understanding of what familial security and bond is. They look out into the world and wonder why it has dealt them a cruel card in life. "Why me? Why can't it be Tim, the big bully. Surely he deserves it more than I do?!" Having to deal with divorced parents can sometimes also be much harder than if one were to grieve their loss through death. Some people, however, swing to the opposite end by denying that it affects them. They try to go on merrily in their lives projecting an image that they are handling it well. The truth is, there is a world of difference between what one experiences in a healthy family versus one that is broken. It does not, however, spell condemnation or doom in your life. You can do something about it. The operative word here is "do". This implies that you need to take time to identify the feelings and thoughts that are running through you. To ask all the questions you need to ask, and then allow yourself to grieve through this loss. Only when you know what you feel can you learn to overcome it, and move on with better strength, positiveness and hope. Healing is necessary. Do not shortchange yourself.
 
ANGER & BITTERNESS
 
While hurt is something internal and private, anger on the other hand, is an expression or your hurt turned towards others. It is not wrong to feel angry. If someone is continually hurting you and do not want to be fair towards you, it is only natural that you get upset and angry towards that person. The sinful part only occurs when you begin to translate this anger into hate by trying to retaliate, or when you harbour a deep seated bitterness that is not willing to seek forgiveness and reconciliation actively. In Ephesians 4:26 we read that we should not sin while we may be angry, and that we need to resolve or release this anger as soon as possible. Note that it did not condemn anger per se. It talks about letting this anger linger on until it turns cancerous and deadly and results in sin - when we take justice into our own hands. Anger is natural. Learn to accept the fact that people are not perfect and somethimes we get caught in circumstances that casue us pain, even though we do not deserve it. Surrender this anger over to the Lord in prayer and allow Him to minister to this internal pain so that you may be able to forgive, and in the process of your own healing, learn even to relinquish and love those who have wronged you. It can be tough to do, but this is the true Christian conduct - that we do not deny our God-given human emotion, but learn to take responsibility for it and at the same time , committing the persons whom we feel angry about to the love and care of our Lord.
 
GUILT
 
In some instances, children may feel responsible for their parents divorce. This could be due to the fights that the parents may have over them. Sometimes, parents openly declare to them that they are splitting up because of irreconcilable differences on parenting. Other parents may blame the child for their breakup because they may feel that the child has added more stress in their marriage, causing them much emotional tension and loss of time for each other. All of these reasons given are NOT valid. You are not responsible for your parents' breakdown in their marriage. They are. Whatever stress they may have encountered because of you ( assuming that this was true), it is still their responsibility to deal with it. If necessary, they should seek help. To put blame on the child for their actions is cowardly. If they have been unable to manage a situation and have been irresponsible, then it is they who should face the guilt not someone else.
 
SHAME & INFERIORITY
 
 A loss of family identity often makes one feel inadequete or incomplete. The truth of the matter is, none of us are, whether we come from a broken home or no. It is only in Christ that we find completeness. Many children from broken families often feel inferior to others. Sometimes, people around are ignorant and ask questions like "It's father's day today, where is your dad?" or "How come you are sometimes contacted at this number and other times at another number?". These innocent questions often forces the child to face the painful reality of his family situation over and over again. Even the forms that you fill sometimes require you to state your parent's names, their addresses, their marital status and their relationship to you. Do you not let the evil one put you in constant shame. Claim the verses in Romans 8:1-4 where we are told that there is therefore no more condemnation for those who are in Christ, because of the power of His death on the cross and His resurrection. We do not need to live in shame and feel like failures. Life is abundant with Jesus ; there is still so much more to live for.
 
LOW SELF-ESTEEM
 
 Children from divorced families often feel rejected. The feeling that one has been abandoned by the two closest people in the world often leaves scars that are difficult to heal. The child is left to try to understand why thses two people cannot stay together and may even personalise the blame because they feel that they are not good enough to bring them back together. Dealing with low self-esteem requires absolute honesty to establish an accurate picture of who we are, positive or otherwise. This means that we do not try to deny that we have problems. We accept that this is the case. However, we push this further by asking ourselves what these problems really mean in our lives and what we can do about it. Often, when one goes through this process, it is evident that the consequences are not as bad as they seem to be. Life goes on. you still have the ability to integrate into the larger scheme of things. The fact is, most people are not the slightest bit concerned whether you are from a broken family or not. They just accept you as you are. If they don't , then it is they who have a problem, and you can pray for them instead of getting unnecessarily hurt. We have discussed some of the emotional issues and how to resolve them. Let's now look at the common behavior exhibited by people from such broken families.
 
CARRYING A PARACHUTE
 
Once I was dealing with a lady whose husband was having an affair. After about six sessions with her, things improved for her. I then decided to see the children to find out how this was affecting them. Her daughter, Mary, was a bright lovely girl in her second year at the university, majoring in Business Administration. When I asked her how she felt about what was going on with the family, she turned to her mother and with tears rolling down her eyes she said, "Mum, I cannot understand why you let daddy treat you this way. If any man did this to me, I would walk out on him." Obviously, Mary had a lot of resentment in her. But what was very subtle in her response was that she stands a high risk for divorce in her own marriage to come. Persons like Mary carry a parachute in their marriages. When the going gets tough, she jumps out of the plane and say, "I'm not taking this from you." Marriage is hard work. There are, of course, happy times, but I guarantee you that there will also be trying and painful times. During these very unpleasant moments, Mary might walk out if she is unable to get any immediate breakthrough in the relationship. Research shows that people who come from broken families are twice as much at risk in having failed marriages. Many of us do not realise how much we actually pick up from our own upbringing. We carry them into our lives. We need to watch out for this so that we do not carry over the negative aspects. Or it may just end up as a vicious cycle, from generation to generation.
 
TWO EXTREME RESPONSES
 
I can never ever trust people...

Some come out badly wounded from these family battles and develop complex defence systems within them . There is no one who is absolutely trustworthy to them because the two people they had trusted the most were also the two people who had hurt them most. Such people often exhibit a strong fighting character, are highly self-sufficient and do not like to socialise. They are very task-oriented and place little emphasis on human relationship, thinking that people are never dependable. You do not need to carry such a heavy burden in you life. Contrary to what you may have experienced, we are created to enjoy fellowship with one another. God is a relational God. We must have hurt Him over and over again and yet He beckons us to always come back to Him. With His outstretch hands, he extends His love to us all the time. Not to have meaningful relationships would rob us of an opportunity for growth that is so important for the development of character. It is through differences and conflicts taht we learn to change ourselves, and learn to accept people as they are.
 
I will never let others go through pain...

This is a form of over compensation, where we tend to smother others. We want so badly for others to be happy because of how we have been deprived of it ourselves. Yet we actually "rob" them of their need to grow through mistakes and pain. I am not suggesting that we do not care, but rather, that we strick a balance. A baby will not learn how to walk if the parents do not allow him to try despite fearing that he may fall and hurt himself. We need to allow personal learning process to take place before we can learn, grow and develop our own individuality. By over-compensating, we become targets where others will begin to take advantage of our weaknesses. Or they may even resent you for limiting their freedom. Healthy relationships require a proper balance of discipline and freedom. Why do we discuss emotions and behavior first? Because ultimately, they will be manifest in our relationships and affect how we deal with people. The following are some relational aspects of suffering from a divorce.
 
CHILDREN AS PAWNS
 
This refers to the situation wehre parents use their children to communicate with or spy on each other. A father who is paying maintenance to the wife may want to know how much mum earns so that he feels justified in stopping or reducing the money. Another instance may be to find out "Who is mummy or daddy seeing these days?" Such interactions places stress on the child because he is put in a double bind. If I help my mother or father, I am actually working against the other. If I don't help, then I'm actually trying to protect the other parent. Either way the child chooses to move, he will always find himself taking sides with either parent.
 
The Angel & Devil
 
Often there is a tendency, sometimes unconsciously, for each of the parents to want to project themselves to be the innocent party. By doing so, however, they often have to "cut" the other person down so as to make themselves look good. This is not only childish, but it can extend the grief and damage unecessarily.
 
Venting To The Child
 
Parents projecting their anger with their ex-spouse onto their children is not only detrimental, but over time, their sharp disagreements will belong to the child as well. The child begins to get a piece of the action and becomes involved in this unpleasant war. Children with such experiences often report a deep sense of resentment. Some may also feel guilty they feel that they have contributed actively to the marriage breakdown.
 
The Child Entrepreneur
 
Manipulative children will capitalise on this very quickly. These are the children who would play one parent against the other to get what they want. If mummy says "no" to a new pair of in-line skates, never mind, let's ask daddy instead. If I am not allowed to watch too much television, I'll just spend more time in the other parent's place because he/she treats me much better. Parents often fall into this trap as they feel responsible for what they have put their children through and would try to compensate for it to reduce or absolve their own guilt. What's more, they are also achieving the goal of being the better parent. This confirms to them that their ex-spouse was difficult to live with, not realising, of course, they are playing into the child's trap. Understanding what has happened will not change things, but the insights will help us to be more cautious to the hang-ups that each of us may have resulting from such experiences. This will help us work out our own relationships in the future. Finally, you need to remember that you cannot change that which is past. You do, however, have choices. Choose to accept your history and not to let it affect you in your quest for a meaningful and balanced life. Learn to express your feelings. Allow friends and relatives to rally around you to support and minister to you when necessary. If the pain is still great or if you have issues that need to be dealt with, please see a trained counsellor who is a committed Christian so that both of you can identify and work out the issues that may still be present. Learn what it means to have a commitment and focus all your energy on this when the going gets tough. 

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Abortion 
 
I am considering abortion..........

You've found out you're pregnant. So, now what? Your mind is most likely flooded with questions and your heart overflowing with emotions....How could this have happened to me? How can I ever tell my boyfriend? My parents? What will my friends think? How can I finish school if I have a baby now? These questions are valid and expected in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. But, now some crucial decisions have to be made and it is critical that you carefully think through your choices and their consequences BEFORE you act.

The first thing you need to know is that the baby growing and developing inside you even now is a life--a life that began at conception. God is the creator of life. He created you and me and the little one inside your tummy. Psalm 139: 13-15 tells us that God "knit" us together in our mother's womb and as a result we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." Aren't you glad your mother believed this?? If she had not, you would not be here now.

Think about the following scenarios:

Would you consider abortion in the following situations?

1. The father is very sick and the mother has tuberculosis. They have had four children--The first one is blind, second one died, third one is deaf, and the fourth one has the same illness as his mother. She finds she is pregnant again. Given the situation, would you consider abortion?

2. A white man raped a 13 year old black girl and she got pregnant.  If you were her parents, would you recommend she have an abortion?

3. A teenage girl is pregnant. She's not married. Her fiance' is not the father of the baby and he is very upset. Would you consider an abortion?

In the first case, if you chose abortion, you have killed Beethoven.
In the second case, you have killed Ethel Waters, the great black gospel singer. If you said yes in the third scenario, you killed Jesus Christ.

Our society tells us that what we do and who we know is the key to significance and importance in life. But God planned each of us with unique gifts and abilities. It is not what you do, but who you are that makes you special. Take a look at the miracle of the developing baby inside you.

Day 1: Fertilization occurs.
Day 6: Embryo implants in the uterus (womb).
Day 18: Heartbeat can be detected.
Day 21: Organs are developing.
Day 31: Human anatomy (arms, legs, etc.) develops.
Day 38: Muscles are developed and the baby moves independently.
Day 40: Brain waves detected.
6 weeks: Fingers and toes are forming.
8 weeks: All organ systems present; baby swims in amniotic fluid.
12 weeks: Baby has a sleep/wake cycle, digests food, swallows, breathes amniotic fluid, has vocal cords, and cries.

So, now what? You have played a part in the creation of a human being, but the timing is not right. You may think you cannot afford to have a baby or perhaps the child will interfere with your life. Your hopes and dreams may be shattered. But will an abortion solve these problems? Abortion is not an eraser. It will not undo your current problems. It only leads to deeper ones.You need to know your risks involved with abortion. To your physical health, to your emotional health, and to future children.

*hemorrhage         
*guilt and anger            
*sterility                 
*infection            
*depression            
*miscarriage                
*perforation (of the womb)
*loss of empathy          
*premature births resulting in emergency surgery)     
*diminished self-worth        
*tubal pregnancies
*flashbacks            
*newborn deaths
*breast cancer            
*memory loss            
*death                
*suicidal ideas
*difficulty keeping close relationships

Abortion clinics often fail to give you the whole story. Abortion seems to be a quick fix to a current problem, but the consequences will follow you forever. There is HOPE . This may not seem like the best time in your life to have a baby, but there are people who can help you. Your local pregnancy care center (or crisis pregnancy center) can link you with resources to provide medical care during pregnancy, job/educational information to help you continue work or school while pregnant, legal help, adoption and foster care agencies, and financial support. Focus on the Family (1-800-A-FAMILY) can assist you with locating the pregnancy center in your area.

===============

Bound 4 Life
A Voice Silenced on Earth but heard in Heaven for the unborn and their mothers..
http://www.bound4life.com/
 
I have had an abortion...

The choice has been made and the abortion has been done. Whether it happened many years ago or just yesterday, it will dramatically affect you even if it doesn't seem like it now. If the pain is not dealt with, it can result in profound long-term emotional and spiritual disturbances in your life. The inability to cope after an abortion is called Post-Abortion Syndrome or PAS. This term is used to describe three common responses:
1) the inability to process the fear, anger, sadness, and guilt surrounding the abortion experience,
2) the inability to grieve the loss of the baby,
3) the inabililty to come to peace with God, oneself, and others involved in the abortion decision.

A woman who is faced with the choice of how to react to a pregnancy may feel a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety about the situation, especially when the pregnancy is unplanned. Abortion seems to be a fast solution to this dilemma, even if it violates one's moral or spiritual convictions. The immediate reaction after your abortion may have been relief that the crisis is over. This is normal, but what many do not expect is the resurfacing of the event in the future. Since the abortion cannot be undone, the emotions and defense mechanisms respond, leaving the woman in a whirlwind. Here are just some of common reactions:

*intense guilt      
*anxiety/panic attacks        
*psychological "numbing"
*depression          
*suicidal thoughts                 
*sleep/appetite disturbances
*flashbacks          
*anniversary syndrome (depression on or near the date of the abortion)   
*substance abuse
*unhealthy relationships          
*low self-esteem        

Abortion may have seemed the only way to prevent the loss of social, school, career, or financial goals, or to relieve pressure from others. For whatever reason it was done, the consequences are painful since God never intended for life to end this way. But, there is HOPE. There is nothing you have done or will do that God cannot forgive. Just before he died on the cross, Jesus prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing," (Luke 23:24). He also wants to forgive you:

Every woman who has had an abortion
Every man who has asked a woman to abort their child
Anyone involved in an abortion

To enjoy His forgiveness, you must:
*Admit abortion is a sin
*Reject abortion as a way out of tough future situations
*Ask God for the forgiveness that He is so happy to give

In Romans 8:1 He promises, "Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ." You may need to seek others to support you as you work through the pain of your past abortion. Many pregnancy centers and churches offer support groups and Bible studies to help with your healing.

===============

Abortion
"prayindancinshari" prayindancinshari@yahoo.com  

Abortion is a crime against women and children,

Used by politicians and hate filled feminists

to push their greed and their agendas.

Abortion.

Abortion is a crime against all women and children.

Do not be deceived.

That child you are carrying is autonomous—

Not part of your body,

They have a body of their own.

They need you to nourish them,

However, they are not a part of you like an arm, a leg, or an organ,

To amputate as if you had gangrene.

That child is a person.

A person with needs.

If you don't want them,

If you can't take care of their needs,

Then give them to someone who can.

For it is better that they have life with someonelse—

Than death by You.

Abortion can ruin your life.

Your life will never be the same if you go through with it.

Ask the old women who have had them.

Ask them about their dreams

.Ask them about their nightmares,

And the screams.

Ask them if they regret it.

They will tell you it is the biggest regret of their life.

Then ask them, if they have children now—

And many will say that they do not.

Why do you suppose that is?

Why did they not have children later,

When it was convenient for them?

They will tell you that their bodies were ruined by abortion.

And that their bodies can no longer carry life.

Abortion is a crime.

Abortion is a crime against all women and children.

Do not be a victim.

Do not buy the lies.

Should your mother have skipped having you??

Should she have chosen not to give you life??

No. Of course not, I say.

You have a right to be here.

Give your child the same right.

Let them live and grow,

Laugh and cry.

If you can not keep them,

Give them to someone who can.

For abortion is a crime against all women and children.

Abortion is a crime.

© shari mcgriff 2007

Proverbs 14:12 There is a path before each person that seems right,
but it ends in death.

Proverbs 3:6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

Psalm 139:13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Psalm 139:15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

===============

Gay Marriage? 
 
 What does the Bible say about same sex marriage?

God's plan for sexuality "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."
          -Genesis 1:27 (NKJV)
"And the LORD God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.' Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: 'This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.' Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."
          -Genesis 2:18-25 (NKJV)
The image of God is both male and female and is reflected in a godly union between male and female where the creative power of God, His life-giving, His self-giving and His moral nature are perfectly expressed. This is only possible in a heterosexual union.When God created a partner for Adam He created Eve - not another Adam. This means that perfect partnership requires some level of difference as well as a level of similarity so great that Adam could cry out loudly, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh". Heterosexuality is the normal method of human bonding and the one for which our bodies and emotions are designed.
If God had intended the human race to be fulfilled through both heterosexual and homosexual marriage, He would have designed our bodies to allow reproduction through both means and made both means of sexual intercourse healthy and natural. Homosexual anal intercourse carries a high risk of disease, this is recognized in Scripture where gay men are said to receive in their bodies the due penalty for their error (Romans 1:27).
[Editor's Note: Various studies indicate that homosexual behavior makes both men and women more vulnerable to disease and decreases lifespan. See: R.S. Hogg, S.A. Strathdee, KJ Craib, MV O'Shaughnessy, JS Montaner and MT Schechter, "Modelling the impact of HIV disease on mortality in gay and bisexual men," International Journal of Epidemiology, Vol. 26 (Oxford University, 1997), pp. 657-661. ("If the same pattern of mortality were to continue, we estimate that nearly half of gay and bisexual men currently aged 20 years will not reach their 65th birthday") / Executive Summary, "Health Implications Associated with Homosexuality," Medical Institute of Sexual Health (1999) ("Homosexual men are at significantly increased risk for HIV/AIDS, hepatitis, anal cancer, gonorrhea and gastrointestinal infections." "Women who have sex with women are at significantly increased risk of bacterial vaginosis, breast cancer and ovarian cancer than are heterosexual women.") / L.A. Valleroy, D.A. MacKellar, J.M. Daron, et al, "HIV prevalence and associated risks in young men who have sex with men," JAMA, 284 (2000), pp. 198-204. (Discusses the prevalence of HIV infection and high-risk behaviors in study group of 3,492 young men who have sex with men.) / D. Binson, W.J. Woods, L. Pollack, J. Paul, R. Stall, J.A. Catania, "Differential HIV risk in bathhouses and public cruising areas," American Journal of Public Health, 91 (2001), pp. 1482-1486. (demonstrates that high risk behaviors are still quite common among homosexual men).]
What Jesus taught"And He answered and said to them, 'Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,'"
          -Matthew 19:4 (NKJV)
"But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'"
          -Mark 10:6 (NKJV)
When Jesus was asked questions about marriage he went straight back to the defining passages in Genesis that say that marriage is between male and female and is meant to be life long. He saw the creation accounts in Genesis as authoritative in His day. And what is authoritative for Jesus is authoritative for Christians also. While Jesus did not specifically teach on homosexuality, His establishment of the Genesis passages as the fundamental passages on marriage (even more fundamental than the Law) leaves no doubt as to the outcome.What else does the Bible say?
"For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due."
          -Romans 1:26-27 (NKJV)
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God."
          -1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NKJV)
"Knowing this: that the law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners, for the unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, for fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers, for liars, for perjurers, and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine,"
          -1 Timothy 1:9-10 (NKJV)
 
These three references indicate that homosexual passions and acts are unnatural, shameful, contrary to sound doctrine and deny entrance to the Kingdom of God. This being so they cannot be the basis of a Christian marriage sanctioned by God's Church. The Church exists to save people, not to bless the means of their damnation. No marriage can be sanctioned by the Church if the very basis of the marriage involves acts that put the couple outside of eternal salvation. No matter what our society may legislate, the law of God is clear - that a marriage is not a godly marriage if it is a same sex union.Are emotions a sufficient basis for marriage?
 
Hollywood has propagated the myth that when it comes to marriage "all you need is love." This is simply not true. Marriage is not based on emotion any more than any other partnership in life is. Marriage, like many human activities, involves emotion but it is not constituted by the presence of any particular set of emotions. I do not deny that many homosexuals feel deeply for their partners; however I do assert that no matter how deep the feelings, what they have is not a marriage in God's sight. It is a beautiful deception.
Just because an emotion is deep or powerful does not justify acting upon it. Like drugs, like adultery, like the abuse of alcohol or the love of money, or the power rush of human ego trips, there are emotions which are powerful and addictive and ultimately terribly destructive. Same sex marriages must satisfy criteria other than emotion. A marriage is more than a sexual pleasure center. A marriage is a social unit that is interwoven with dozens of other lives.
Same sex marriages do not last. Less than 5% of gays have ever had a relationship that lasted 3 years or more. Sex is not enough. Passion cannot sustain an inherently unstable social unit.
Society, the Church and same sex marriages
Marriage is a fundamental social institution that does not exist just for the emotional satisfaction of two individuals but for the greater good of the community which stands under the blessing or curse of God. Societies that put emotional fulfillment before right actions and principles will soon give way to a multitude of addictions and deep corruptions and collapse. God will judge any society that institutes same sex marriages.
I also believe that God will judge a society that permits adoption of children or the use of sperm banks by same sex couples. His Word stands over society and when it is deliberately flaunted in the name of progress and enlightenment, then it is not light but deep darkness that results. We cannot bend the principles of God's Word to suit vocal minority groups. While some nations may enact laws permitting these evils, the true church of God must stand resolutely firm and never allow the sanctioning of same sex marriages by Christian clergy. No church that takes the Bible seriously can sanction a union between homosexuals or lesbians.
Author: John Edmiston. Provided by Eden Communications. http://www.Eden.org
Copyright © 1997, 2002, John Edmiston & Eternity Online Magazine.

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Can a Gay Person go to Heaven? (Letter)

I know the Bible says it's a sin, but it also says that the only unforgivable sin is not accepting Jesus. If a gay person accepts Jesus but does not change his lifestyle, can he go to heaven? I have a cousin who's gay. --Lucy

You've asked a very important question--and a very hard one.
And you are exactly right: there is only one sin that is unforgivable. That is the sin of not believing and not receiving Jesus Christ into your life.
A gay or homosexual person can accept Christ, just as an alcoholic, a drug addict, or a mass-murderer can accept Christ. Jesus' offer of salvation is open to everyone.
Your question is whether someone can accept Christ, not change his lifestyle, and still go to heaven. The Bible teaches that if someone has truly accepted Christ into his life, nothing can keep him out of heaven. In John 10:28, Christ says of Christians,

"I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of My hand."
So, Lucy the real question, I believe, is whether your cousin had a life-changing experience with Christ. Jesus said in Luke,
"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord' and do not do what I say?"
Someone once put it this way:
"No Jesus, no change. Know Jesus, know change."
Is your cousin trying to overcome his homosexuality? If he is, that's a good sign that Christ is working in his life.
God is the only one who truly knows our hearts. He's the only one who truly knows your cousin's heart. But if Christ has become the Lord of your cousin's life, then the Holy Spirit will begin to deal with the sin of homosexuality in his life.
I would encourage you to pray daily for your cousin. And I'd encourage you to tell your cousin you are praying for him. God may use you in his life. Thanks for being there and thanks for caring for him.
Author: Dawson McAllister of Dawson McAllister Live!
Copyright © 1997, Dawson McAllister Live!, All Rights Reserved - except as noted that grants Heart4Teens.com users generous rights for putting
this page to work in their homes, personal witnessing, churches and schools.
 
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What's Wrong With Being Gay?

The issue of homosexual behavior has had a lot of publicity of late. Homosexuals say that the slaves have been freed and women have been liberated, so gay rights are long overdue. Society does seem to be moving in that direction. Many homosexuals are "coming out" and openly declaring their homosexuality. In many parts of the western world, homosexual couples receive the same recognition as heterosexual couples with regard to social security benefits. Some church leaders are giving their blessing to homosexual relationships, homosexual church members and even homosexual ministers.

Many homosexuals' claim that:
They are made that way.
Homosexuality is of no harm to the participants or to anyone else.
If it feels right to those involved, it is nobody else's business.
Homosexual relationships and heterosexual relationships are equally valid. (Some even claim that the Bible condones homosexual relationships.)

Made that way?
Since other groups who have been discriminated against (such as women, blacks and the disabled) have been given equal opportunity, homosexuals claim that they, too, should be liberated. However, as one Christian expert has said...
"Gender, race and impairment all relate to what a person is, whereas homosexuality relates to what a person does."(1)
In contrast, homosexuals claim that scientific studies have shown that there is a biological basis for homosexuality.

Three main studies are cited by "gay rights" activists in support of their argument(2)?Hamer's X-chromosome research,(3) LeVay's study of the hypothalamus,(4) and Bailey and Pillard's study of identical twins who were homosexuals.(5)
In all three cases, the researchers had a vested interest in obtaining a certain outcome because they were homosexuals themselves. More importantly, their studies did not stand up to scientific scrutiny by other researchers. Also, "the media typically do not explain the methodological flaws in these studies, and they typically oversimplify the results".(6) There is no reliable evidence to date that homosexual behavior is determined by a person's genes.
To the extent that biological or social factors may contribute to a person's bent toward homosexual behavior, this does not excuse it. Some people have a strong bent towards stealing or abuse of alcohol, but they still choose to engage or not engage in this behavior?the law rightly holds them accountable.
The final report of the Baptist Union of Western Australia (BUWA) Task Force on Human Sexuality states 'that a person becomes a homosexual ultimately by choosing to be involved in same-sex activity... This is in contrast to innate characteristics such as gender and ethnicity.'(7) The report affirms that 'the Bible is clear that sin involves choice, and it unequivocally condemns homosexual behavior as sin'.(7)
The foundational teaching on marriage and sexual issues is found in Genesis chapters 1 and 2. When Jesus was questioned about marriage, He referred to these 2 chapters (Matthew 19:1-12; Mark 10:1-12). Genesis teaches us that 'male and female He created them' (Genesis 1:27). We were created to a plan?male and female complementing each other. That is, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, nor Madam and Eve.
Genesis also teaches that God instituted and designed marriage between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:18-25). There are a number of reasons why He did so.
The complementary structure of the male and female anatomy is obviously designed for the normal husband-wife relationships. Clearly, design in human biology supports heterosexuality and contradicts homosexuality.
The combination of male and female enables man (and the animals) to produce and nurture offspring as commanded in Genesis 1:28?'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth'. This command is repeated to Noah after the Flood (Genesis 8:15-17). But procreation is not the only reason God made humans as sexual beings. The BUWA report affirms 'that sexual intimacy between husband and wife is good, and is intended by God for bonding, pleasure and procreation.'(7)
Thirdly, God gave man and woman complementary roles in order to strengthen the family unit. Woman was to be the helper that man needed (Genesis 2:18). However, the woman's role as the helpmate is certainly not an inferior one. The enterprising God-fearing woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 is an inspiring role model.

No harm?
Andrew Lansdown points out that 'homosexual activity is notoriously disease-prone. In addition to diseases associated with heterosexual promiscuity, homosexual actions facilitate the transmission of anal herpes, hepatitis B, intestinal parasites, Kaposi's Sarcoma and AIDS.'(1) Research on the life expectancy of a group of homosexual men in Canada in the early 1990s indicated that they could expect 8-21 years less lifespan than other men.(8)
Effect on Others

Secular psychologists assure us that 'children raised in lesbian and gay households are similar to children raised in heterosexual households on characteristics such as intelligence, development, moral judgments, self-concepts, social competence and gender identity'.(6) The humanists have, however, forgotten one important ingredient.
'Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it' (Proverbs 22:6).
You cannot faithfully teach God's Word to your children while living a lifestyle specifically condemned by God's Word. All Christians are sinners forgiven by God's grace, but living in a homosexual relationship constitutes habitual, unrepented sin.

Nobody Else's Business?
Gay activists claim that homosexual activity is nobody's business other than those involved in the relationship. However, this is not true. God, our Designer and Creator, has authority over all aspects of our lives. He makes the rules, and He quite specifically forbids homosexual behavior.
'You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination' (Leviticus 18:22; see also Leviticus 20:13).
Disobedience of such a clear command indicates rejection of God's authority.
Some people argue that the Old Testament law (including Leviticus 18 and 20) was superseded with the coming of Christ. However, we should at least consider as binding those aspects of the law that are renewed in the New Testament. The teaching of Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 was certainly reaffirmed in the New Testament.
Equally Valid?

Some people claim that homosexual behavior was only condemned in the Bible because it was associated with idolatry (e.g. 1 Kings 14:24). However, it is clearly condemned apart from idolatry as well (e.g. Leviticus 18:22). It is described in Scripture as an unnatural, immoral perversion.
'For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another...' (Romans 1:26-27).
The Greek word arsenokoitai used in 1 Timothy 1:10 literally means 'men who sleep with men'. It is the same Greek word used for 'homosexual offender' in 1 Corinthians 6:9, variously translated as 'abusers of themselves with mankind' (KJV), homosexuals (NASB) or homosexual offender (NIV).
Some people claim that the sin involved in Sodom was rejecting hospitality customs or selfishness rather than homosexual behaviour. Certainly, the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah was great and their reported sin was grievous to God (Genesis 18:20). God sent angels to Sodom and...
'Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house. And they called to Lot and said to him, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have sex with them"' (Genesis 19:4-5).
"While it is true that the Hebrew word yadha does not necessarily mean 'to have sex with,' nonetheless in the context of Sodom and Gommorah, it clearly had this meaning. ...It means 'to know sexually' in this very chapter when Lot refers to his two daughters not having 'known' a man (19:8)."(9) You would not offer virgins to appease a mob if their sin was lack of hospitality, but only if their desire was sexual.
Although Ezekiel 16:49 condemns Sodom for its selfishness with regard to poverty etc., this does not contradict its condemnation for homosexual practices. "The very next verse of Ezekiel (v. 50) calls their sin an "abomination". This is the same Hebrew word used to describe homosexual sins in Leviticus 18:22."(10)

It is also used in Scripture to describe such things like the practice of offering children to Moloch, but never such things as mere selfishness or lack of hospitality. Even in legal parlance, the word used to refer to one aspect of homosexual practice is 'sodomy'.
Another argument is that Jonathon and David were homosexuals as 'Jonathan "loved" David (1 Sam. 18:3), that Jonathan stripped in David's presence (18:4), [and] that they kissed each other (20:41)'.(11)
However, 'David's "love" for Jonathan was not sexual (erotic) but a friendship (philic) love. And Jonathan did not strip himself of all his clothes, but only of his armor and royal robe (1 Sam. 18:4).'(12) Also, a kiss was a normal greeting in that day, such as when Judas kissed Jesus. In several cultures today, men normally greet each other with a kiss, too. Further, David's love for his wives, especially Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11), clearly reveals his heterosexual orientation.
Isaiah 56:3 states that eunuchs will not be excluded from God's presence ('my temple'), but practising homosexuals are not eunuchs. Eunuchs have no sexual relations at all.
Other scriptural arguments for homosexuality can similarly be easily refuted. It is clear that heterosexual marriage is the only form of marriage sanctioned in the Bible and that homosexual practice is always condemned.
Punishment

The Bible not only describes homosexual behavior as detestable, but it also calls for the punishment of those involved (Leviticus 20:13). Their unrepentant attitude caused God to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19:24-25).

Just as homosexual conduct has been punished in the past, so it will also be punished by God in the future.
"...Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Hope

However, there is hope for the homosexual. God forgives and cleanses a person who repents and turns from their sin, including the sin of homosexual behavior (1 Corinthians 6:11). As well as forgiveness, God's grace brings with it the power to live a life that is pleasing to God (Romans 6:6-7). If repentance and reform are genuine, prior homosexual actions should not be a bar to church membership or ministry, as all Christians are reformed sinners.
'Liberal' churches espouse tolerance of homosexual behavior in the name of 'love'. They plug for the acceptance of homosexual conduct as normal, 'because they can't help it'. They are not only wrong about the latter, but they are actually not being at all loving towards homosexuals, because, contrary to the Bible, they reduce the homosexual person to the level of an animal, driven by instinct. In removing moral responsibility from the person, they dehumanize them, whereas the Bible says we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27), with the power of moral choice.
Furthermore, the gospel proclaims liberation from the bondage of sin, including homosexual sin, whereas the 'liberals' tell the homosexual that they cannot help it, and they can't help them either, so they will accept them as they are! However, many a person has been gloriously rescued from the bondage of homosexual sin (and other sin) by the power of the Holy Spirit, but only Bible-believing Christians can offer such hope.(13)
Conclusion
As with all moral issues, our beliefs about our origin determine our attitude. If we believe that we arose from slime by a combination of random chance events and the struggle for survival, it is understandable to say that there is no higher authority, and we can make our own rules. However, if there is a loving God who planned us and gave commands for us to follow, then we must do so. God has set forth His standards in the Bible, beginning with the foundational teaching in the book of Genesis.
References and notes

1. Lansdown, A., The 'Rights' of Homosexuals, Life News, p. 1, February 1995.
2. Randall, D.A., Bill Loader on Homosexuality, Life News, p. 4, September 1996.
3. Hamer, D.H. et.al., A linkage between DNA markers on the X chromosome and male sexual orientation, Science 261(5119):321-327, 1993.
4. Levay, S., The Sexual Brain, MIT Press, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA, 1993 (as quoted in ref. 6, pp. 367, 665).
5. Bailey, J.M. and Pillard, R.C., A genetic study of male sexual orientation, General Psychiatry 48(12):1089-1096, 1991.
6. Matlin, M.W., Psychology, 3rd ed., Harcourt Brace College Publishers, Fort Worth, Texas, USA, p. 366, 1999.
7. Excerpts from the Baptist Union of WA document on human sexuality, Life News, October 1997. (Final Report of the Task Force on Human Sexuality, Baptist Union of Western Australia, July 1997).
8. Hogg, RS, et al., Modelling the impact of HIV disease on mortality in gay men. International Journal of Epidemiology 26(3):657-61, 1997.
9. Geisler, N.L., Christian Ethics, Michigan, USA, Baker Books, p. 261, 1989.
10. Ref. 9, p. 262.
11. Ref. 9, p. 259.
12. Ref. 9, p. 265.
13. See, for example, the testimonies of people rescued from homosexual sin at www.exodus-international.org/testimonials_left_homosexuality.shtml, 28 October 2003.
Author: Ann Lamont , Answers in Genesis.
Copyright © 2004, Answers in Genesis, All Rights Reserved - except as noted that grants Heat4Teens.com users generous rights for putting this page to work in their homes, personal witnessing, churches and schools.

===============
 Suicide

Rev. Dr. Kathryn van Rooyen_ (mailto:revdrkathryn@ yahoo.com)

"It’s the most wonderful time of the year!" "Christmas is a happy time for
everyone on earth.." So go some of the popular Christmas songs that we hear
this time of year. But are they true? No. Absolutely not. For some, it is the
saddest, most lonely time of the year. For many people this time of year is
treacherous and down right cruel. It is normal to feel sad, and to miss those
who are no longer with us this year. However, it is also a good time to
remember GOOD and happy memories of the one now gone.

While it is certainly a time of grief for many, for some it is profoundly
overwhelming. It is true that this time of the year, we see suicides increase.
Some people feel hopeless, like everyone else in the world is happy, wealthy,
and roasting chestnuts on an open fire. Loneliness and sorrow over those no
longer sitting around the Christmas dinner table can cause some people to
break down.

What can you do to help someone who is suicidal? The only people who kill
themselves are those who have lost all hope. If you can find a
shred of hope somewhere for them to grasp, you have a greater chance of
keeping a person from completing the act of suicide.
The "typical" suicidal gesture is a cry for help, out of desperation, and
the person WANTS to be helped. They are seeking relief from pain, stress,
anguish, torment, grief, abandonment, alienation, frustration, disappointment,
memories, guilt, or illness....more than they can bear. There is no single cause
for suicide, but a multitude of causes. Suicide is a permanent solution to a
temporary problem or situation. The person suffering can no longer see
alternatives, and feels trapped and hopeless. It is usually a result of a gradual
wearing away at a person's hope and coping skills.

Suicides happen every day, about once every twenty minutes in this country
(probably much more now, this data is many years old), and there are 10
unsuccessful attempts to every fatal one. Suicide attempts are 5 times more likely
in women than men, but men succeed without prior attempts more often.

Take EVERY suicidal gesture and attempt SERIOUSLY. Do NOT make the mistake
of calling it "manipulation" Take EVERY suicidal gesture and attempt SERIOUSLY.
Do NOT make the mistake of calling it "ma

SOME SIGNS TO ALERT YOU
1. Depression
2. Self-demeaning statements
3. Hopelessness
4. Slowed speech, movements and/or thought processes
5. Reduced appetite (or tremendous increase) and weight loss
6. Diminished sexual drive
7. Sleeping difficulties (or sleeping as an escape)
8. Suicidal ideation (thoughts)
9. Social isolation
10. Thoughts of guilt, worthlessness
11. Tearfulness, sadness
12. Careless, reckless
13. Low frustration tolerance
14. Inability or unwillingness to communicate
15. Difficulty concentrating
16. Losing train of thought easily
17. Intense Boredom
18. Abrupt change in behavior, mood, work performance. THIS CAN ALSO
INDICATE A DECISION TO DIE, IF MARKED, SUDDEN IMPROVEMENT SEEMS TO OCCUR OVERNIGHT!
19. Giving away possessions
20. Making statements such as "I am such a failure", "I can't go on
anymore", "Life isn't
worth living", "I give up, I just can't take it anymore." Most people who
are suicidal have told SOMEONE about it, even if subtly.

HELPFUL THINGS TO SAY
1. Take any suicide talk, threat, or gesture as SERIOUS. Don’t say
things like "oh, you don’t mean
that!" or "I won’t listen to such nonsense."
2. Be direct. ASK if suicidal. ASK what the plan is, and pay attention to
the amount of
thought that has gone into the plan. Can it be done? Are all the "bugs" in
the plan worked out?
1. Find out if they have already taken drugs or cut themselves. IF
SO---you MUST get
help immediately! Call 911. Emergency crews can get there faster than you
can, and they are equipped to handle this.

4. Let the person vent feelings---talk about feelings. Be
"feeling-oriented" 4. Let the person ve
released, or their tears, and do not try to stop the flow. Don't correct
them or speak in
judgmental terms. Be understanding and affirming--- judgmental terms. Be
understanding and af
give them permission to kill themselves (like "gee, that is really rough.
I'd feel just like
you if that happen to me! I understand why you want to die!")
5. DO NOT LECTURE or point out all the reasons for living---it doesn't help.
1. Let the person know that this situation can get better---tell them
that God is aware of
their suffering and that He is able to do amazing things to move heaven and
earth to help us.
2. Tell them that depression CAN be treated. They can call our office at
276-979-1991 for counseling appointments (donation). You can also give the
number to a counseling crisis hotline. Daytime number is . After 4:30 and on
weekends, the hotline number is 1-800-466-6719.
3. Ask if they have a spouse, or children. These can be a focal point of
hope....and you
can have them think of what it would do to their children/spouse (children
are the best
focal point) if they died this way....how they would remember you, how it
would forever
mark their lives. Tell them that their children might never heal from such a
devastating event.
4. You may be able to convince them to meet you at a hospital. If they
met the emergency criteria,
they would be admitted to the hospital for three days for evaluation and
observation. It could be the trigger for the help they need.
5. KEEP THEM TALKING! Talking does a LOT of good for the soul, and it
can lessen the internal
pressure and anxiety.
1. Ask them if you can pray for them. Break the scheme of the enemy and
rebuke
suicide spirit. Bottom line is THEY MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS! If someone
wants to kill themselves, there is always a way around any safety nets. Pray for
them earnestly

From the heart of the Appalachian Mountains,
Rev. Dr. Kathryn van Rooyen

_www.RevealedHeartM iwww.Reveawww_ (http://www.revealed heartministries. org/)
_www.BooksandStitch ewww.B_ (http://www.booksand stitches. com/)

I want to dovetail on these two in particular:
1) TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY 2) ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS... ."are you thinking about
hurting/killing yourself. You will not be making the suggestion.. .it has
been there. I can't tell you the times that I've had someone come up in the
prayer line and say to me..."Pray for me because I'm through" " I'm tired now,
I'm going home." " Will you ask God to forgive me?" etc...All cues. I
can't tell you the number of times when colleagues standing next to me...(we
stood across the front of the church and each had a line of people to pray for)
go into some religious rigamoroll, casting out devils, and oiling them down
and rebuking them for thinking about it. And others simply ignored it because
they didn't know WHAT to say.

As I read Fran's response, I'm reminded of my Crisis Intervention Counseling
Program, and the "assessment" we're to do when encountering a potential
suicide victim. The first thing is to ascertain if the person has a
plan/strategy for how they would kill themselves and then if they have the wherewithal to
do it. i.e, gun, pills, etc. If these things are indeed in place, (and many
of them will tell you because most of them are crying for help) you are
mandated to act immediately by contacting the appropriate resources. Secondly,
you are not to leave them alone until they have been placed in custody of
someone who can protect them from themselves.

If however, there is no real plan, but appears to be a thought, you must
make a "contract" with them that they will not harm themselves, they will not do
anything before they call you and give you the opportunity to come to them.
Now does this guarantee that they will follow through with the contract..not
at all, but it is a tool, and many of them will endeavor to keep their word.

Let me conclude this piece by saying I know firsthand what it's like to be
there. And just as Linda talked about going into the liquor store....I walked
this lane on more than one occassion... .and though I'm on the other side of
the counter now.....but for the grace of God.....

===============
 
Suicide
 
If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional. I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

"Suicide is not chosen; it happens when your pain is greater than your ability to handle the situation."

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. (That's why it's useless for someone to say to you, "cheer up!" - of course you would, if you could.)

Don't accept it if someone tells you, "that's not enough to be suicidal about". There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Most people have had suicidal thoughts at some point in their life. This does not in any way make you a bad person; it is not a defect of character. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things:
(1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1. The first thing you need to hear is that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

2. The next thing I want to suggest to you is to give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it's just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

3. The third thing is this: people often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4. The fourth thing is this: some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you.
LET ME SUGGEST SOME HELP:
Call 1-800-394-HOPE
People are waiting to help you...
Or you can visit:  www.TeenHopeLine.com  and chat with someone right now!
 
"I sometimes have thoughts of suicide. What does the Bible say about it?"
Let me share some information that might help you with your thoughts of suicide. The Bible is very clear that we don't have the right to take our own lives. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." Jesus also said in John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." There is hope for your life, and your life is worth living, even if things seem really bad right now. Everyone feels lonely, depressed, or hopeless at times in their life. But instead of focusing on the negative, turn your eyes and mind up to Christ. In your relationship with him you will discover your exciting purpose and destiny. Don't throw away your future!
Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44) and he will use everything in this world to make you believe that you are ugly, unloved, unworthy, not valued, not wanted or anything except the truth. What is the truth? For you "to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge." (Ephesians 3:18-19) Satan does not want you to know this love, but it is there for you and it is unconditional. Another lie that Satan will try to get you to believe is that you have to be perfect on the outside to have worth. The truth is that "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment... Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (1Peter 3:3-4).
Love Letter From God To You:
My Child--
You may not know me, but I know everything about you--Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up--Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways--Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered--Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image--Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being--Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring--Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived--Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation--Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book--Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live--Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made--Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb--Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born--Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me--John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love--1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you--1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your father--1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could--Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father--Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand--James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs--Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope--Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love--Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore--Psalm 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing--Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you--Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession--Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul--Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things--Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me--Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart--Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires--Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine--Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager--2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles--2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you--Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart--Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes--Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth--Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus--John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed--John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being--Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you--Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins--2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled--2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you--1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love--Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me--1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again--Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen--Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father--Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is Will you be my child--John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you--Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad. Almighty God
 
Know God? How can I know God?
Take a minute and find out how you can have a personal relationship with God!
Is There Really Someone Watching?
Find out who is watching and how He can help you with your problems. Find God Online! Believe it or not you can actually find God online. Take a minute and surf this area.
1. God Loves You...
God loves everyone and he desires us to have eternal life. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." And, John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (NIV)
2. You Are A Sinner In Need Of Forgiveness...
You have sinned by choosing to go your own way instead of God's way. Through His Holy Spirit, God wants you to know that you are seperated from God and will face His judgement. Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,". Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." And, Heb 9:27 says, "Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment," (NIV)
3. God Wants To Forgive You...
God demonstrated His love for you by sending His Son, Jesus Christ. By dying on the cross and rising from the dead, Jesus took your judgement and made it possible for you to be forgiven. Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." And, 1 Pet 3:18 says, "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit," (NIV)
4. You Must Turn Away From Your Sins...
You cannot save yourself or earn God's forgiveness as a result of being good enough. Just as you change directions when you realize you're walking the wrong way, you must repent, or turn away, from you sins. Luke 13:5 says, "I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish." And, Ephesians 2:8-9 say, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast." (NIV)
5. You Must Place Your Faith In God's Son, Jesus Christ...
When you realize you are walking in the wrong direction, you turn to find the right way. Jesus is the right way. As you turn away from your sins, place your faith in Jesus to receive forgiveness and eternal life. Acts 20:21 says, "I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus." And, John 14:6 says, "Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."" (NIV)
6. You Receive Jesus Christ Through Prayer...
Because Jesus is alive, He stands ready to come into your life. Revelations 3:20 says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (NIV) Through prayer you can:
Admit to God that you are a sinner and that you are turning away from you sins; Believe in Jesus by thanking Him for dying on the cross and rising from the dead for your sins; Commit your life to Jesus by asking Him to come into your life as your Savior and Lord.
After you have prayed this prayer, try to find a local church where you can worship and learn more about Jesus. Also, commit to a daily quiet time, reading your Bible and praying. 

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I'm Angry!!!
 
Anyone can become angry.  That is easy.  But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right t